Five Stages of Losing Your Keys in your Bra

Keynial – “They’re probably at the chiropractor’s. Let’s go back.”

Bargaining – “If we order a coffee and a cookie at Calabria instead of demanding to search the ladies’ room, they will be waiting for me here tomorrow, covered in Baristo-tude, when I show up for work.”

Anger – “What do you mean I haven’t got the spare keys back from the cat-sitter yet?”

Consumerism – “Here’s my VISA. Cut some new keys, oh deities of the hardware store. And while we’re at it, give me this bag that I TOTALLY don’t need.”

Anger redux – “They were in my bra all along? But I gave myself a full-chest patdown!! Twice!!”

Nap – “At least they weren’t riding around in there until bedtime.”

Aren’t you glad I spelled that out for you?

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About Alyx Dellamonica

Alyx Dellamonica lives in Toronto, Ontario, with their wife, author Kelly Robson. They write fiction, poetry, and sometimes plays, both as A.M. Dellamonica and L.X. Beckett. A long-time creative writing teacher and coach, they now work at the UofT writing science articles and other content for the Department of Chemistry. They identify as queer, nonbinary, autistic, Nerdfighter, and BTS Army.

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