Five Stages of Losing Your Keys in your Bra

Keynial – “They’re probably at the chiropractor’s. Let’s go back.”

Bargaining – “If we order a coffee and a cookie at Calabria instead of demanding to search the ladies’ room, they will be waiting for me here tomorrow, covered in Baristo-tude, when I show up for work.”

Anger – “What do you mean I haven’t got the spare keys back from the cat-sitter yet?”

Consumerism – “Here’s my VISA. Cut some new keys, oh deities of the hardware store. And while we’re at it, give me this bag that I TOTALLY don’t need.”

Anger redux – “They were in my bra all along? But I gave myself a full-chest patdown!! Twice!!”

Nap – “At least they weren’t riding around in there until bedtime.”

Aren’t you glad I spelled that out for you?

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About Alyx Dellamonica

After twenty-two years in Vancouver, B.C., I've recently moved to Toronto Ontario, where I make my living writing science fiction and fantasy; I also review books and teach writing online at UCLA. I'm a legally married lesbian, a coffee snob, and I wake up at an appallingly early hour.

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